Happy Mother’s Day, Mom, wherever you may be

mother

Do you ever wish a holiday would just drop off the map?

I do, because it’s that time of year again when I’m getting emails in my inbox reminding me to buy flowers or candy or some other type of present for my mom for Mother’s Day.

Is it just me or is Mother’s Day on steroids this year? It’s everywhere I turn – in the stores, in the newspaper, on the radio, on the Internet. Maybe it’s that way every year. Maybe it just seems so in my face because I miss her so much.

I recently moved near where my dad lives, and my mom didn’t live too far from him. For many years, when I came “home” to visit, I spent time with each of them. And now, she should be here. But she isn’t.

People ask other people, and people have asked me, “What are you doing for Mother’s Day?” Well, my mom died two and a half years ago. What are you supposed to do with Mother’s Day when you’re not a mother and your mother is no more? What do you do when you’re one of the Motherless Daughters?

Unbelievably, a distant family member swooped in and stole my mother’s ashes from the place that handled her arrangements after she “graduated” from medical school. (I had to fight distant family members to even make sure her body was donated to a medical school like she wanted, but that’s another story.) I still remember my shock when the guy said, “I’m sorry, we sent her to so and so.” Of course, they never contacted me to see if that was what I wanted, but instead just assumed that person was telling the truth when he requested it behind my back.

I felt horrible about that for about a week, until a good friend came to my house for a visit. When I tearfully told him what happened, he said one of the greatest things anyone has ever said to me: “Well, think about it this way. You got all of those years with her, and all of her love and all of those memories, and all he got was a box of ash.”

An overwhelming feeling of peace immediately came over me and I haven’t been upset about the theft since, because he was right: I got all the best of my mom during all of the years we had together. He also pointed out something else to me: She isn’t gone from me.

Throughout the week after that conversation, I really thought about what he said about her not being gone and then I realized he was right. She is with me every day.

I can hear her in my voice when I get excited or silly, or when I talk to my animals. I do the same higher pitch then.

I can see her in my hand whenever I sign my name. I worked hard when I was a teen to mimic her elegant cursive, and if you looked at our signatures, you would immediately see the resemblance.

I can feel her in my smile whenever I pose for a “good” photo. (My mom was a teenage beauty queen who taught me how to smile for “good” photos.)

I can hear her in the advice I give to friends – be kind, to yourself and others; do the right thing; love everyone, always.

I guess for Mother’s Day, I will remember my mom and wish she was still here. I’ll ache about feeling like an orphan. And I’ll hug my dad a little tighter, because he’s the only parent I have left.

Do you still have your mom? If not, what do you do for Mother’s Day? If this post spoke to you, please share it.

114 comments

  1. Marie · May 4, 2016

    I don’t know what I am going to do, as this will be my first mother’s day without my mom. I don’t know if I should celebrate the fact I am expecting my first child, or if I will cry because I cannot see my mom anymore ever on Mother’s Day and she will not be here with me through my pregnancy. I just don’t know 😔

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. My first one was awful. Cherish your impending motherhood and know your mom would be joyful about it. Reach out for help if you need it. Take care of both of you.

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    • Rose · May 4, 2016

      This is also my first Mother’s Day without my mom – she passed 12 weeks ago. My grown children ask me what I want to do celebrate and all I want to do is stay in bed.

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      • Kat · May 4, 2016

        I’m sorry for your loss. Do what you need to do to get through it. Take care of you.

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    • Mimi · May 4, 2016

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I too will be celebrating my first Mother’s Day without my mom. I already have children and I know I have to be strong…and ultimately that’s what my mom would have wanted. So if I do my best to enjoy the day with them that will be her present. All mothers want their children happy. It’s not going to be an easy day but try to do something that will honor her and make you and baby-to-be smile. Remember you are not alone.

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      • Kat · May 4, 2016

        I’m sorry for your loss. You’re not alone either, Mimi. Take care of you.

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    • Jeani · May 4, 2016

      The first holidays without your mom are hard but know that although your mom is no longer with you her legacy lives on in you and the sweet baby you are carrying.

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    • Tiffany · May 4, 2016

      This is my first Mother’s Day without my mom and it’s literally heartbreaking… I’m sorry for your loss

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      • Kat · May 4, 2016

        I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of you. Reach out if you need help.

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    • Liz · May 4, 2016

      This is my first one without my
      Mom too. The past few weeks has been so hard, constant reminders that she is not here to celebrate with. Know you are not alone. She is always in your heart ❤️ Take care of yourself and lean on your supports when you need them.

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      • Kat · May 4, 2016

        I’m sorry for your loss.

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    • Jen · May 4, 2016

      This is my 2nd Mother’s Day since Mom died and to be honest, the first one SUCKED. I’m an “almost mom” to my boyfriend’s daughter (17 years together but not married or living together) and last year she loved with me. But she went to her mom’s, as did everyone else it seemed, except me. I was upset that no one realized how hard the day was, no one reached out to help me. I spent the day alone and witchy.
      What I learned, though, is there is no one way of spending the day that will be right or make it better. So do what you want and feel however you are going to feel. Cry because you want her there and celebrate because you are a mom, on Mother’s Day, for the first time. Nothing will ever be the same, YOU will never be the same, and life continues. Feel what you want, or what you need to, and after the day is done put it behind you. That’s all we can do.
      Bless you and your new family!!

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      • Kat · May 4, 2016

        I’m sorry for your loss. Great advice, Jen! Thanks for sharing with all of us. And thanks for the kind words. Take care.

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  2. Lynn Benjamin · May 4, 2016

    I lost my mom 8 weeks ago to cancer. I am so dreading Mother’s Day. I wish I could just skip Sunday and go right to Monday. I have a feeling I might be spending the day in bed.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. You can indeed skip Sunday and spend the day in bed, if you wish. I did that many days in that first year after my mom died. Movies and chocolate helped. Take care.

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    • Lynn Wilson · May 4, 2016

      My Mother passed away in February, this will be my first Mothers Day without her too.I have grown children and grands,but there will be a big part missing,bed may be a good place.Sorry for your loss.

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      • Kat · May 4, 2016

        I’m sorry for your loss. Stay in bed if you need to. Take care of you.

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    • Laura Aurand · May 4, 2016

      I am right there with ya sister!! My Mom passed away March 4th to terminal lung cancer and this will be my first Mothers day without her as well. I work in a grocery store where the greeting card display is one of the first things you see when you walk in. Needless to say I’m looking forward to that mothers day inventory being gone lol. I definitely wish you the best of luck in dealing with everything, sometimes it’s best to lay low for a day and stay away from restaurants and anywhere else mothers day is being celebrated. Kind of like staying home when you’re single on valentine’s day.

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      • Kat · May 4, 2016

        I’m sorry for your loss. I keep thinking I might have a motherless daughter party one year and invite all I know who want to attend. We could celebrate being together and alive.

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    • Joanna · May 4, 2016

      I understand totally. I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom to cancer less than three months ago. I want to skip Sunday as well.

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      • Kat · May 4, 2016

        I’m sorry for your loss.

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  3. Courtney Wright · May 4, 2016

    This is my first mothers day without my mom. I am also childless, so I’m not to sure what to do sunday…

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Do what you need to do that day. Spend it in bed, with friends, volunteering, doing something your mom would have loved? Most of all, take care of yourself. My first one without my mom was harsh. Reach out if you need help.

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  4. Karen · May 4, 2016

    This is my second year without my mom. I couldn’t have kids either and it’s my 50th birthday this week, so a triple whammy. I’m going to lay low Sunday. I’ll go to the cemetery on Sunday with flowers and barbecue for my dad. Really I just wish I could sleep the day away.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. You have to do what you need to do to take care of you. I’m in much the same boat as you, but I am comforted somewhat by being an awesome mom to a wonderful German Shepherd. Take care.

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  5. Michelle · May 4, 2016

    Thank you so much for this. It’s my first Mother’s Day without my mom. She passed away in July. I hate holidays especially this one. It gives me comfort to know she is with me everywhere. I hate going to the cemetery. I just feel that I don’t have to go there to remember her I think about her every single day and feel her by my side. Thank you for your comforting words. It means so much.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Thank you for the kind words. I was hoping I would touch someone with something they needed to hear. That’s always my wish when I write. Take care of you.

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    • Sherry Askea Shroyer · May 4, 2016

      This is my first Mother’s Day without my mom also. She also passed away last July, her birthday is on Mother’s Day this year and it is decoration at the cemetery where she is buried, very popular here in the south. Too much to handle, I just want to run away. Last year I had her a big birthday party and she told me it was the best party of her life! I was her caregiver and miss her so much!

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      • Kat · May 4, 2016

        I’m sorry for your loss. My first Mother’s Day without my mom was the hardest. Remember the good times.

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  6. Linda · May 4, 2016

    Try to act like it is any other day. My Mama has only be gone since March and I am still grieving. It hurts so bad and the pain of missing her can come at any moment.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. It has been two and a half years and it’s still so painful. Be good to yourself and take care of you.

      Like

  7. Corina V. Villarreal · May 4, 2016

    My Mom has been gone 15 months (2/15/15). It still hurts like it was yesterday:'( I wanted at least have some of her ashes nd it didn’t happen. I had someone tell me the same thing. I’m the one who took care of her. I spent a lot of time with her! We argued, cried and laughed the most! So I have plenty of memories to keep me going that nobody will ever have! My aunt’s nd friends tell me I look just like my Mom. So every time I see myself in the mirror I see her in me!! :'(:-) Love You Forever Mom!!

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Remember the good times and how much you loved each other. That’s one thing that helps me get through.

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  8. Chantelle Martin · May 4, 2016

    I don’t know what to do since this is my first one alone. I think I will take my aunt to dinner.I also want some flowers to put next to her ashes. I must hold on since it is her birthday in two weeks. And then the anniversary of her passing. I am still yet to finish cleaning out her room. I just am not able to complete that’s task yet. If anyone has advice I would love some feedback.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Do whatever you need to do to get through it and take care of you. Take your time with those things that need time. I had to go through my mom’s entire house two days after her death, and that was brutal. I boxed up a ton of stuff and shipped it to my house. I still haven’t opened the majority of those boxes. I do one every now and then. Go easy on yourself. You don’t have to follow a plan or pattern. Just take care of you and do what feels right for your heart and spirit. Reach out if you need help. Take care.

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    • Melissa · May 7, 2016

      I lost my 46 year old mom this past November. I’m the oldest of 6 and my youngest are 8 and 10 so this is our first Mother’s Day without her. I have to be strong for my dad and siblings, but really I just want to sleep the whole day away. I haven’t built up the courage to cleaning out her room yet. I tried a small part of her closet and it hurt too much so take your time it will be there whenever you’re ready for it. Best of luck this Mother’s Day just know they’re shining down on us.

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      • Kat · May 10, 2016

        I am sorry for your loss. I had to clean out my mom’s house just two days after her death. I still haven’t tackled the majority of the giant boxes I packed and shipped home. I’ve learned that you have to take your time and follow your own path, not one that anyone else tries to set for you. I wish you peace.

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  9. Laura · May 4, 2016

    I’m 28 and it’s been 10 years since my mom died from leukemia. Every year since on mothers day I plant flowers on her deck and garden since that was her passion and she had taught me from a very young age how to garden. It helps to feel her presence and give life back to her garden every year.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. What a sweet thing to do. Take care of you.

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  10. Lillie · May 4, 2016

    This will be my very first mothers day without my mother she suddenly passed away 3 wks ago and truthfully I am dreading mothers day and im a mother of 2 boys … Although I am looking forward to the memories created on all the mothers days I shared with her which were 39 amazing ones ..

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Cherish those boys. Remember the good times with your mom. Reach out if you need help.

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  11. Melissa Sessie · May 4, 2016

    It’s my first Mother’s Day without my best friend, my mother, my other half of my heart but as I mourn she just passed 9/15/16. I read something on here the other day that gave me an idea first I’m going to go have a picnic at the cementary bc we always did lunch or dinner at Harold’s Inn the I’m going for a pedi that was out thing.. I am going to celebrate her memory and I know it will be rough but I’m going to try to celebrate what an amazing mother she was to me instead of being miserable atleast that’s my plan!

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I wish you much success with that plan! I now have some good ideas for things to do, too. Thanks for sharing. Take care of you.

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  12. Deeya · May 4, 2016

    I lost my beautiful Mother 28 years ago. Yes, time may make these holidays a little easier, but the overwhelming, gut wrenching feeling if even for a fleeting moment still happens – when you realize she is not here. You cannot hold her hand. You can’t tell her how your day was. Yes, time helps you handle the situation better in the public eye, but the feeling of loss never goes away.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of you. Reach out if you need help.

      Like

  13. Lynn Wilson · May 4, 2016

    This will be my first Mothers Day without my Mom,she passed away in February.Not sure about celebrating,but I have grown daughters and grands.It hurts so much every day but Holidays are going to be the worst,so sorry for everyone’s loss.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of you. My first year was the hardest, although I went through some of it in a fog. Make sure you reach out if you need help.

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  14. Carlee · May 4, 2016

    This Mother’s Day will be the 5th year without my mom and m heart aches as much as it on the first one. Loosing your mother is devistating and hard for others to understand. I plan to stay in my pjs all day and eat ice cream like me and her used too. 💜💜b

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Ice cream sounds good. Take care of you.

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  15. Morgan Karcher · May 4, 2016

    Alyssa, you are one of the strongest women I know. I am not just saying that out of pity or sympathy, I mean it and I never really told you that. This article is so beautifully written. I know your mom would be so proud of you. I consider you a friend, and I am so proud of you

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I think you may have left this comment in the wrong place. I just want to make sure whoever you meant it for gets it. Take care.

      Like

  16. Rhonda · May 4, 2016

    I been dreading this weekend this is my first Mother’s Day with out my mom, my best friend. Her birthday would of been Saturday so it’s a double hit! I have been searching the Internet on how to get threw this. Thanks for sharing

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Thanks for the kind words. Every year, every holiday, I do whatever I need to do to get through it. So sometimes I spend the day by myself. Sometimes I go to a movie. Sometimes I stay home and cry. Most important is to take care of you. And reach out if you need help.

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  17. rfry58 · May 4, 2016

    My mom died 18years ago and it is still like yesterday. Sorry for everyones loss.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I was told you don’t get over it, but the pain lessens with time. I hope that’s true.

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  18. Tani · May 4, 2016

    This is my first mom’s day without my mommy, Kathryn. She died on her birthday, April 29th at 73 from gastric cancer. Less than 2 months diagnosis to finish.
    I’m also not a mother to a human, jut fur babies. Dreading the day and feeling like an orphan. Dad is not in the picture. So sad. :(((

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. And hugs to you. I don’t know what I would do without my pup.

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  19. Laura · May 4, 2016

    I lost my mo. 3 days after Christmas 2013. She had been very ill and I spent 6 weeks sitting in her sicu with her till they would kick me out. This will be Mothers Day number 3 for me. I can honestly say it don’t get easier. I have a 3rd of her ashes with me. Because my brother’s insisted we split them. I think this year for Mothers Day I will plant a rose bush in my yard and sprinkle some of her ashes in the hole before I plant it. I’ve been missing her alot lately and maybe it will be a place I can sit and talk to her.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I talk to my mom all the time. It helps me. What about doing some kind of trip and taking her ashes with you to put in places you love or she loved? Take care.

      Like

  20. Casey Crumb · May 4, 2016

    It’s never easy when you’ve lost your mom and it doesn’t matter how long it’s been you’ll always miss her. I lost my dad and four days later my mom. Your heart doesn’t know which way to grieve.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m so sorry for your loss. I am thankful every day that I still have my dad. I can’t imagine what you have gone through. Take care.

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  21. Heather Poling · May 4, 2016

    This is my second mothers day without my mom. She passed a year ago February. Last year I was numb to everything and everyone around me…. I didn’t know how to face any day much less holidays and her birthday. This year I have had to face them all after months of depression And self destruction. I am slowly picking up pieces I never imagined I would have to find of myself. I want to lay in bed and sleep all day but I know that is not what she would want so I will face the day the best I can…. I will visit her grave and hope that it brings me peace so that I may be intact for my step son who’s mother chooses not to be here for him. I Dont know how well I will do but i will fight through it in hopes she will be proud.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. And I’m sure she is proud of you. Take care of you. You’re too important not to.

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  22. vicky · May 4, 2016

    I lost my mom 3 and a half yrs ago. She was my best friend. Still try and call her. I also didn’t get any ashes.
    I have 2 sister’s. The oldest took care of her ( i broke my back 25yrs ago and she had stairs). When she got sick in Oct of 2012 she got sick. She died jan 10th 2013 never saw her again after oct. 2012.
    They creamated her b4 i could say good bye. I have a daughter and twin granddaughter. So i have to get outa bed.
    Some of her ashes are @ a park in the water i go thrre and cry every year.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I talk to my mom all the time. Maybe that can help you, if you don’t already do it. When a friend who still had her mom suggested it, I thought she was nuts. But it does help me.

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  23. Stephanie · May 4, 2016

    This will be my second year without my mother. Last year was horrible I didn’t even know what to do with myself that day. There’s nothing more horrible then a holiday that makes you remember that your mom is gone and is never coming back . Hopefully this year will be a little better. I miss her everyday and that’s never going to change. Love you momma❤️

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I miss mine every day, too. I hope the holiday will hurry up and go away!

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  24. Maryclare · May 4, 2016

    Shockingly, this will be my sixth Mothers Day without my mom. Similarly to when my husband and I were going thru infertility treatments years ago, everyone on the “outside” assumes Mothers Day is an easy holiday that everyone celebrates. Even though I have a beautiful daughter now who loves to celebrate ME each year, nobody loves you like your own mom…and I miss mine each and EVERY day….

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Even people who know I lost my mom ask what I’m doing for the holiday. Maybe if we started kicking people when they ask… Take care of you.

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  25. Cole · May 4, 2016

    This will be my 3rd mothers day without my mom.. I’ll spend it at work with my residents and hug the mommas whose kids have either passed or dont come see them.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Good for you for doing that! Take care.

      Like

  26. Manny · May 4, 2016

    I lost my mom in 2004. She in our house while i was holding her hand. Even tho its been years, i miss her every day. There are times that my sisters, nephews, or nieces post pics of her on Facebook and they just bring tears to my eyes. But they also bring back the joy and memories that we all had with her when she was in our lives.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I’m working my way through my third year without my mom. I recently went through some of her things that I boxed up from her house and put them throughout my house. It’s nice to remember her now and the things she loved. Take care.

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  27. Tonita · May 4, 2016

    I came across your article on FACEBOOK and it appeared just at the right time- 4 days away from Mother’s Day. My beloved mother passed away at the age of 68 on February 20th, 2015- just three days after her birthday. At times it still feels surreal and a part of me was taken away when she passed away. I have beautiful urn with the inscription of “going home” on it containing her ashes. There was no way I was going to bury this in a cold, dark cemetery. She is around me and I am comforted to know that she is no longer in pain and in a beautiful place with her family members. I celebrated Mother’s Day with my husband. I wrote a letter to her and placed it in a beautiful purple helium balloon I purchased and we let float into the sky until it was just a little dot- hoping that she would receive my letter. We also planted a gorgeous pink rose bush in our background in memory of her. We plan to to fly a balloon again in memory of my mother this Mother’s Day. I just received my renewed driver’s licence picture and couldn’t help but realize that I really do look like my mother as other people have said to me. This is gives me real comfort knowing that her legacy lives on in me. I thank you Kat for your beautifully written article. I too am childless with a loving husband, an adoring cat and am a school teacher of 26 “adopted” children. This day will be tough for us all but we can rely on each for support. God bless you all.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean a lot to me. I had hoped to help just one person by sharing this, and it helps me feel better, knowing that I have helped more than one. I’m sorry for your loss. My mom had just turned 66, and she was a very young 66. I’m single and childless (although I count my German Shepherd as a child for sure), but thankfully still have my dad. Take care.

      Like

  28. Jackie Rapuzzi Rufo · May 4, 2016

    This is my 7th Mother’s Day without her and it doesn’t get any easier. I usually plan a trip home so I can visit with her at the cemetery and make sure she has her favorite flowers there. I wish I had some sage advice to all have recently lost there mothers but I have none. My life has never been the same since she went away. I suffered extreme depression after turning to alcohol to numb the pain. Just be sure to reach out for help when you need it. It’s ok to have help in order to live again. Just breath and remember your best times together. Sending big hugs and kisses to all my sisters out there feeling the pain.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I didn’t have any sage advice either. But I hoped it would help to share the experience and it has. I went to counselor for nearly a year after my mom died and she saved me. Take care.

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  29. Samantha · May 4, 2016

    It’ll be three years this summer that I’ve lost my mom. The landmark days are just something you have to push through; birthdays, holidays, anniversaries, etc.. I’d say it gets easier, but you really just get more used to it. You steel yourself up ahead of time, push through it like a runner, and get it over with. Staying distracted helped me, and not feeling badly for not spending time with other people’s families if it was just too much for me.

    I identify a ton with what you said. My mom have BEAUTIFUL handwriting, and I always wanted it, but could never quite muster it. There are similarities in mine, but hers was just PERFECT. Seriously. I should sell it as a font.

    And yes, I hear her voice in my own, whether it’s how I talk to animals, how I clear my throat, how I laugh, the sound I make when I spill my coffee…myself and my brother are very much an extension of her and I hope we can pass it on to his kids. They didn’t get nearly enough time with their cool grandma, but hopefully, we can plant a seed of her in their hearts as we go.

    Cheers to you, my sisters.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. People always invite me to their house, but I can’t spend time with people who still have their moms there with them. It just hurts too much. Maybe one day. Cheers to you.

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  30. Erin Del Greco · May 4, 2016

    My sisters and I for the first few years went to the beach for mother’s day. We called it the Motherless Daughters beach get away. We just ate, drank and sunned ourselves for two or three days. But my sisters are mothers, each having two children. I am single and have no children. They now are the celebrated ones so it would be a bit selfish for us to continue our trips. So now I am trying to figure out what I should do. Like I said I don’t have any children, my mother was my best friend I celebrate her birthday by going out and having her favorite meal. The anniversary of her passing I go and have my favorite meal but Mother’s Day is a hard one! I enjoyed reading this post and its message of having the best of my mom while she was here is very true. Thanks for the sharing.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Thanks for the kind words about my post. I would love to go to the beach with you. Maybe you can find some “sisters” like us near you and do something special with them? I’m going to have my mom’s favorite meal when her birthday comes this year. Thanks for the idea! Take care of you.

      Like

  31. Jenn Pangallo · May 4, 2016

    This is my second mothers day and I’ve been a mess..I find myself getting angry at people who have their parents..mine died 3 days apart….a part of me died with them..Then comes fathers day…..

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I am thankful every day that I still have my dad. But I miss my mom every single day. I get angry sometimes with people who talk bad about their moms, and I wonder why theirs are here and mine is gone. I wish you peace, Jenn. Take care.

      Like

  32. Amanda · May 4, 2016

    This year will be my first. mothers day without my mom. She passed away in November due to cancer. I am soo emotional and feel torn. Im sad my mom is gone but happy and blessed that I have to sweet daughters.

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    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Cherish your girls. Remember the good times with your mom. Reach out if you need help. Take care.

      Like

    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Cherish your girls. Remember the good times you had with your mom. Reach out if you need help. Take care.

      Like

  33. Samantha · May 4, 2016

    I lost my mom in 2012. She and my father adopted me when I was four but they are truly my parents. I recently found my biological mother online but I don’t feel any connection to her. I don’t know if I should ever meet her or even send her a card for mother’s day. She is also calling my son ‘grandson’ and I’m not sure how to feel about that. She can’t even remember my siblings birthdates whom I am trying to find.

    Like

    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. And for your difficulty in this situation. Follow what your heart tells you to do. Take care.

      Like

  34. ASHLEY O · May 4, 2016

    This is my 3rd mothers day with out my mom. She had a hard battle with cancel for 2 1/2 years and my dad passed away last year. I just realized yesterday that Mothers day was this week I don’t want to stay in bed for my children; but I want to stay in bed for me. The best advise I was given is to just Brace yourself for the day. It’s coming and you don’t know how you will act until it actually hits

    Like

    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Take care of you.

      Like

  35. Tia Deloach · May 4, 2016

    This is my second Mother’s Day without my Momma… She was my bestfriend… She was My person 😦 I miss her everyday but Mother’s Day is the worst!

    Like

    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. My mom was my best friend, too. I wish you peace this Mother’s Day. Reach out if you need help.

      Like

  36. MaryJane Bunns · May 4, 2016

    This is my 13th Mother’s Day without my mom and it never gets easier… I have so many regrets… If only I had 1 more day… Always remember to tell your mom you love her If you are lucky enough to still have her!

    Like

    • Kat · May 4, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I think we all have regrets and wish we had one more day. I know I do. The other day, this woman was complaining to me about having to hear her mom complain several times a day, and I said, “I wish I could hear my mom complain one more time.” Take care of you.

      Like

  37. Mortisha · May 5, 2016

    This will be my 39th Mother’s Day without my mother; she was murdered when I was 15. It still stings. She never got to meet her ten grandchildren, never got to see any of her six children grow into happy, successful adults. My two children, their spouses and my granddaughter will help get me through the day of missing my mom.

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. That must have been horrible. My mom’s sister, and my favorite relative right after my mom and dad, was murdered when I was a teen and I still feel her loss. I wish you peace and love. Take care.

      Like

  38. Shanna Crunk · May 5, 2016

    I go to the cemetery with fresh silk flowers. While I’m there I clean the headstone, sit on a blanket or lawn chair and reflect. My three kids go with me, it’s a tradition. However this idea can work any place you feel peace or calmness.

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Sounds like a peaceful tradition. Take care.

      Like

  39. Karen Clark · May 5, 2016

    Each year gets harder,it’s almost 8 years since they abandoned me.They all so keep me from seeing my Grandchildren.So now I am here all alone because I built my Life around my children.For every time they needed something or were in trouble…They knew right wrong or indifferent I would always be right by there side. My Husband of 33 years,together since we were 14 took his life and they blame me. There Dad was there but had nothing to do with raising them. I raised them with help from my family. So need less to say I am sad alone and not doing very well.

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Please make sure you reach out if you need help. There is no shame in counseling to take care of yourself! I wish you peace.

      Like

  40. Gigi · May 5, 2016

    I am praying for all of you who have lost your mom’s. Its said that time heals all wounds but the truth is, that pain will never go away. This year is my 19th Mother’s Day without my Mom. I am 29 years old and this year I will have celebrated as many with my daughter as I shared with my mom. I always try to forget holidays, they hurt too much. I am divorced neither my ex husband or my (usually sweet) boyfriend ever help my daughter suprise me. So the day is normally every depressing for me. But this year I have decided to make my day special. I am going to make plans for me and my daughter and I am going to celebrate the two ladies in my life who made me the mother I am. My mom taught me a lot in the short time I had with her and even though At times I feel like I have only memories of memories left I know I couldn’t be the mother I am without her. I will also celebrate my daughter, the reason it gets to be my day 🙂

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to lose your mom that young. Sounds like you had a good plan for Mother’s Day this year. I would love to know how it turned out. Take care.

      Like

  41. Rose · May 6, 2016

    What a wonderful article. Thank you. It’s been comforting to read. This is my first Mother’s Day without my mother and feel such deep sadness as I miss her so much. We spoke every day and I saw her every day. She passed away February 29th and I cry every night. I am thankful to have my father but when I visit him which is frequent, everything in the apartment reminds me of her. Most of her things are how she left them. I have a daughter and will make the best of it. I don’t know what I will do that day.

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. And thank you so much for the kind words. I actually spent this Mother’s Day in an animal emergency room with my German Shepherd, and I didn’t think she was going to make it. Thankfully, she did. I wish you peace. Make sure you reach out if you need help. Take time and do things how you need to, not how anyone else tells you to. Take care of you.

      Like

  42. Courtney Pennill · May 6, 2016

    I lost my mom not even 2 weeks ago, My mom passed on Sunday the 24th of may at 3:38am. I was by her side until her last breath. I’m 22 years old a senior in college I actually graduate in 8 days and all I wanted was for my mommy to see me graduate. I am the first of her children to graduate from College, a great college at that. It’s tearing me apart. I have no idea what I will do on Mother’s Day,, I already had her gift planned out. She was my best friend my other half the love of my life and this pain just sucks 😦 I have taken care of my mommy since the 3rd grade and now I just feel so broken, so I along with you, will be missing my mommy on mothers day wishing I could continue to shower her with love the way I always did. Thanks for the post atleast I know I’m not alone in this.

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine losing my mom that young. Please make sure you reach out if you need help. I went through counseling for a year after my mom died and it saved my life. She did see you graduate, hon; she just wasn’t there in person. Take care. And let me know how you’re doing, if you wish.

      Like

  43. Ashley · May 6, 2016

    lost my momma to cancer last november, i feel ya, wish i could skip mom day

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Make sure you reach out if you need help. Take care.

      Like

  44. Karla · May 6, 2016

    My mom died in my arms Easter Sunday and have had really hard time coping . Now with Mothers day and her birthday few days later i find myself more lost and not sure how to deal with this . i hve lost many family members dad 2 bothers n others but the pain of lossing my mom is nothing like i have went through , Just praying in time it does get easier and i can find a way to get back to some kind of normal i know my mom would want be to be happy n love life just dont know how right now,

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I am sorry for the pain you are going through. Make sure you reach out if you need help. I went through counseling for a year after my mom died and it saved my life. Take care of you. And let me know how you’re doing, if you wish. The pain doesn’t go away, but it gets easier to handle with time.

      Like

  45. Rachel Hopple · May 7, 2016

    This is my 14th year without my dear mom. It is no less hard than that first Mother’s Day without her. I think of her every day. Love you, Mom. ❤

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. Take care.

      Like

  46. Sierra · May 7, 2016

    My sister shared your post, but I would like to further that. I can relate to your story. I also tried to write like my mom. My mom died 2 days before my 26th birthday on Easter about 1 month ago. 3 months ago my father died. I am one of 3 girls and the oldest. I have no children(both of my sisters have a son), but I will be busy at work. I’m utterly numb, but reading through this post has helped. Thank you for sharing and I’m deeply sorry for your loss… Sending my love and light to you!

    Like

    • Kat · May 10, 2016

      I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how painful that must be for you. I lost my only brother, who was two years younger than me, just nine weeks before my mom, and both of them left unexpectedly. Know that you are in my thoughts and that I totally feel for you. Thank you so much for your kind words. I actually spent this Mother’s Day in an emergency animal hospital with my German Shepherd, certain that she was not going to make it. Thankfully, she did and she is on the mend. I learned a lot of lessons that day, which I will write about soon. Take care.

      Like

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